Bank robber Willie Sutton was reported to have answered, when asked why he robbed banks, “Because that’s where the money is!”.  This was overturned by mere facts, but still lives on in the group mind.

And criminal activities.

There is a house in Cincinnati that was robbed four times in one week.  The cops caught the three guys, and asked them why they did it.

They said they kept going back because there was more stuff there

(as reported here)

The reporting may have mangled the police question, but I think it shows a singular lack of imagination, topped only by the reply.  If I was in a position to be picked up for robbery (I’m not), and I was asked such an obvious question, I would have to place my Miranda rights to the side and start answering like this:

  • I wanted to be in the Guinness Book of World Records.  The current record is five, and we were so close.
  • I gotta get new glasses for our driver.  That’s not the address I gave him!
  • I am just a victim of a repressive, possession-oriented society.
  • I wanted to get my personal bail-out quicker.
  • I’m a solipsist.  You don’t exist.  Now take these handcuffs off.
  • I’m doing research for a book, and I keep forgetting details.

C’mon, guys. More stuff doesn’t cut it if you want your fifteen minutes of fame.