The September 1990 issue of Analog Science Fiction is one that I picked up for fifty cents, along with a pile of other similarly-priced ones.
And I find something a little special on page 123
(pictures are my own, not professionally scanned. Believe it or not!) Here’s the text, compliments of TextFiles:
Are You Bored?
In a Rut?
Looking for a New Career?
If so, we have the answer to your problems …
The Famous Hackers’ School
That’s right, friends–the Famous Hackers’ School! Now you can learn the ins and outs of Hacking in the comfort of your own home, as you prepare for your new career in this fast-growing hi-tech field.
Just imagine the look on your friends’ faces when they learn that you are a Certified Hacker! As a Hacker, you will be smug in the knowledge that no corporate computer system is safe from your talents. You’ll be able to sleep late, and never have to worry about your bank balance again!
Under the watchful eyes of our anonymous instructors–noted Hackers all–this correspondence course will teach you the finer points of password plundering, system access level boosting, data destruction, and electronic banking.
And Famous Hackers’ School offers something that no other school offers: backup career guidance. This special course module will show you how to turn your eventual arrest into a media event, a bestselling book, and a secure position as a computer security consultant!
Just send fifty thousand dollars, and we’ll rush your FHS starter kit to you via the fastest courier available. This jam-packed starter kit includes the following:
- A deluxe 486 computer system, complete with 9600-bps modem and our proprietary “TeleHack” software package
- A set of passwords to the major corporate computer systems you’ll access during your studies
- A twenty-gigabyte optical disk for storing looted data
- A collection of timed viruses for your personal use
- Official FHS membership card, recognized by bail-bondsmen the world over
- A complete set of course manuals, cleverly disguised as obsolete operating system manuals
Bonus! Send your money before Friday the 13th, and we’ll throw in our famous “Build-a-Virus” kit, complete with two-page, illegible photocopied instruction sheet, at no extra charge!
Get started as a Hacker today–and have more fun tomorrow!
The Famous Hackers’ School
A Division of Bizarro Enterprises
Nobody likes a hacker …
but that’s okay, because they’ll be sorry!
Send $50,000 (check or money order; no cash or credit cards, please) to:
Famous Hackers’ School
P.O. Box 312
Milford OH 45150
Attn: Michael A. Banks, Chief Wizard
Mr. Banks has apparently moved to the next county over, but he still writes. No idea if anybody ever took him up on his offer.
Kinda fun. I’m keeping this issue of the magazine.