Habakkuk spoke for a lot of us when he wrote in Hab 1:2:

How long, O LORD, will I call for help,
And You will not hear?

That’s gutsy, and I’m not at that place, but I do echo the “How long, O Lord?” part.

Whatever I have, the pain is pretty good right now.  Keeping me awake – it’s 4AM.  Doc appt on Wednesday, but we might bypass him and go see the ER if I can’t get an earlier appointment.

So the latest issue of World Magazine had a column referring to John Piper’s Don’t waste your cancer.  I don’t have cancer, as far as I know (symptoms more closely align with a kidney stone PLUS some lung infection), but I thought I had picked up the essence of Piper’s article from reading somebody else’s column.  Not so.  I thought the two main points were

  1. Don’t waste the extra time you have now that you’re not working
  2. Glorify God through it all

Once I started to read Piper’s full column, the original, he has 10 points.  Including “You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death”.  Hopefully what I have is a temporary thing, and I’ll be right as rain in a few days, chasing deer away and what not – but that doesn’t mean I won’t be in a car accident next week.  Have I done enough for God?  (That is a negative rhetorical question.)  Am I at the place where I’d be happy with my life if Somebody wrote “The End”?  Are there things undone, unsaid, unstarted, that are still possible? (Positive rhetorical question.)

So even though I am cranking through fiction like there’s no tomorrow, I am also intentionally reading my Bible more, haven’t (yet) tried memorizing more scripture, and managed to croak my way through two songs while Bettie was at small group tonight.

God does deserve all glory and honor and praise.  And whatever the resolution of this little glitch in the temporal world, I’m happy to know that He has prepared for me a place at His table.

I want to be found faithful.