You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Words’ category.

If you are using sharp kitchen tools – a mandolin, for instance – keep your fingers away from the sharp parts. Otherwise you can end up with a bandaid on your index finger.

Or so I’ve heard.

My other revelation from the evening is Lip Blam, useful for when you’re shooting your mouth off.

I like motorsports.  Dialing that down a bit, I like car racing, and NASCAR, and Tony Stewart.  My goal is to get a race-used tire from Tony Stewart and turn it into a coffee table for my man cave.  Ignore for the moment that there’s no man cave, nor money for the tire or glass top.  Those aren’t the point.

The point is that on eBay, I have a “watch” set up for Tony Stewart.  One of the things that came up recently was a tire cover – retail, not race-used, does not apply to me.

I looked to the bottom to see if there were links to anything that would be of interest.  I found this:


The word was supposed to be NASCAR.  Autocorrect changed it, and the author didn’t catch it.

Somehow, mascara and Tony Stewart don’t quite go together.

He does his crossword puzzles in ink.

Read the rest of this entry »

Or political typography. Not sure which way this one goes.

This isn’t a post about politics. The news story linked is about politics. You have been warned.

That New York-based bastion of journalism, the Daily News, has a story about Mr. Trump’s trials in Arizona, where protesters blocked a highway to keep him from getting to a rally.   In the story they reference footage obtained from a helicopter.


“Arial video”. I would have thought Mr Trump was more of a Times New Roman guy.

Bettie and I went to the Clermont County fair on Saturday – it was Demolition Derby day. We got a late start, which was on purpose – we avoided the massive rainstorms that went through on Saturday morning. We got to see all the fun things we normally do, only missing the old tractors (which may not have been there).

We got to walk through the 4H building, seeing the exhibits. This one caught my eye:

2014-07-26 15.58.11


Yup – Bridal Safety, Bridaling Your Horse Safely, and Proper Bridal Fit.

The girl’s name and 4H group were on the poster, and will not be published here.  I don’t blame the girl – she obviously cares for her horses, and words are not her main concern.

I do blame the adult supervisors, though.  This was an easy one, one I imagine that horse people have to deal with a lot.  Unless the adults don’t know any better, which is a possibility.

Nevertheless, Bettie and I will be attending the fair next year.  4H lists Head as the first of their four H-words.  We’ll see.  We’ll see . . .

I couldn’t make a living as a proofreader or an editor.  I like computer work, so I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.

But when I find things like this, I can’t help but reporting them.

WCPO did a story on electric rates going up.  They described the increase this way:

thirty percent


While it is true to say that going from six cents to almost ten cents is “more than a 30 percent” increase, it would be more accurate (as well as more sensational) to describe it as “more than a 60 percent” increase.

6 x 1.3 is 7.8.

6 x 1.6 is 9.6 – far closer to the 9.9 price.

Accuracy, if you want it, is a 65% bump.  Harder to say and conceptualize in a sound bite.

Still, John Matarese could have gone for “over 50%” and been more accurate.

The first time I was published, I had submitted a clipped funny to PC Magazine (back in the 90s).  Someone was selling a computer monitor – except that instead of the RGB that it was intended to be, it came out as a KGB monitor.  I got $25 and a T-shirt for that one.

This week, I got the acclamation of my peers.

I read The Register, a British IT site.  I don’t read every article, and some I avoid.  There was an article about which devices are most easily broken, and my phone made the list (and did best in the embedded video).

Then there are the comments for the article.  In general, comments on articles at The Reg vary from informative to amusing to trolling.  There are some regulars, and some regular trolls.  There is a lot of understated humor, which I like.  And that’s where I came in.



So I think I’m occasionally a funny guy.  This time, four anonymous people thought so, too.  That’s good enough for me.  Thanks, anonymous folks.

It wasn’t the fault of the assistant police chief.

He was talking.  Brian Mains was writing.


“We have to air on the side of safety”.  No, you don’t.  Really.

Although that does bring up an interesting twist.  “To err is human, to air divine.”  That does put the police in the position of being gods, at least in the sight of one writer.  Problematic.

I am not going to touch the concept of the chief assuming that he knows what he wants to do – and being forced to do it, poor fellow!

We have to assume that we want to do this as safely as possible.

Rough job, being forced to assume that you want safety.  And I am not going to comment on that.

The source seems to be Fox News, who has now partially corrected their error.  The original (with my highlighting) goes

McNeal, who has 23 years of experience with Forest Service, the National Park Service and other agencies, said at the Aug. 23 meeting that investigators know the fire is human caused since there was know lightening in the area.

Bayou Buzz still has the original.  Fox left lightening unshortened.

know lightening

I find myself being the limiting factor on my blog.  I have things that I want to say, and I write blog entries in my head, but don’t push the keys to generate electrons to make it show up here.

So this is a catch-up entry of tag lines I use at work.  My prior post includes links to even older collections.  These are monthly entries.  I still have another year’s worth out in the future, so there should be at least one more of these.  Without further ado . . .

Jul 12: Don’t leave the duck there.  It’s totally irresponsible. (from)
Aug 12: Today is the first day of the rest of your week
Sep 12: Public transportation takes you from where you don’t live to where you don’t work
Oct 12: When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt
Nov 12: Warning: do not look into laser with your remaining eye
Dec 12: If the sky is falling, show us the pieces
Jan 13: Everything’s working, try again in half an hour
Feb 13: Perfection is a goal, not a destination
Mar 13: An apple a day makes 365 apples a year
Apr 13: Facts are stubborn things (from Jerry Pournelle, originally from)
May 13: Tweaking the spurving bearings on my retro-encabulator (from)
Jun 13: Today is a nice place to visit but you can’t stay here for long
Jul 13: Tagline error 176: duplicate joke
Aug 13: The map is not the territory (from Jerry Pournelle, originally from)