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Time for another list of potentially profound sayings, that other people have created and I have harvested.  Here are the previous six entries.

Aug 16: Cows may not be smarter than people, but some cows are smarter than some people

Sep 16: Don’t get bitter, get better

Oct 16: You don’t have a soul.  You *ARE* a soul.  You have a body.

Nov 16: There is some probability that rational decision is not the governing phenomenon here.

Dec 16: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

Jan 17: When you see hoofprints, think horse and not zebra

Feb 17: Eveyone who overgeneralises is always an idiot

Mar 17: Argue for your limitations, and soon they will be yours

Apr 17: You cannot make everybody happy.  You are not pizza.

May 17: The Venn diagram for age, experience and wisdom is not one of concentric circles

Jun 17: You manage what you know

Jul 17: “Carpe diem” is my favorite saying. Fish are ten cents each.

Aug 17: What you expect, you must inspect

Sep 17: Semper Gumby – forever flexible

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If you are using sharp kitchen tools – a mandolin, for instance – keep your fingers away from the sharp parts. Otherwise you can end up with a bandaid on your index finger.

Or so I’ve heard.

My other revelation from the evening is Lip Blam, useful for when you’re shooting your mouth off.

I like motorsports.  Dialing that down a bit, I like car racing, and NASCAR, and Tony Stewart.  My goal is to get a race-used tire from Tony Stewart and turn it into a coffee table for my man cave.  Ignore for the moment that there’s no man cave, nor money for the tire or glass top.  Those aren’t the point.

The point is that on eBay, I have a “watch” set up for Tony Stewart.  One of the things that came up recently was a tire cover – retail, not race-used, does not apply to me.

I looked to the bottom to see if there were links to anything that would be of interest.  I found this:

mascara

The word was supposed to be NASCAR.  Autocorrect changed it, and the author didn’t catch it.

Somehow, mascara and Tony Stewart don’t quite go together.

He does his crossword puzzles in ink.

Read the rest of this entry »

Or political typography. Not sure which way this one goes.

This isn’t a post about politics. The news story linked is about politics. You have been warned.

That New York-based bastion of journalism, the Daily News, has a story about Mr. Trump’s trials in Arizona, where protesters blocked a highway to keep him from getting to a rally.   In the story they reference footage obtained from a helicopter.

Arial

“Arial video”. I would have thought Mr Trump was more of a Times New Roman guy.

Bettie and I went to the Clermont County fair on Saturday – it was Demolition Derby day. We got a late start, which was on purpose – we avoided the massive rainstorms that went through on Saturday morning. We got to see all the fun things we normally do, only missing the old tractors (which may not have been there).

We got to walk through the 4H building, seeing the exhibits. This one caught my eye:

2014-07-26 15.58.11

 

Yup – Bridal Safety, Bridaling Your Horse Safely, and Proper Bridal Fit.

The girl’s name and 4H group were on the poster, and will not be published here.  I don’t blame the girl – she obviously cares for her horses, and words are not her main concern.

I do blame the adult supervisors, though.  This was an easy one, one I imagine that horse people have to deal with a lot.  Unless the adults don’t know any better, which is a possibility.

Nevertheless, Bettie and I will be attending the fair next year.  4H lists Head as the first of their four H-words.  We’ll see.  We’ll see . . .

I couldn’t make a living as a proofreader or an editor.  I like computer work, so I’ll keep doing what I’m doing.

But when I find things like this, I can’t help but reporting them.

WCPO did a story on electric rates going up.  They described the increase this way:

thirty percent

 

While it is true to say that going from six cents to almost ten cents is “more than a 30 percent” increase, it would be more accurate (as well as more sensational) to describe it as “more than a 60 percent” increase.

6 x 1.3 is 7.8.

6 x 1.6 is 9.6 – far closer to the 9.9 price.

Accuracy, if you want it, is a 65% bump.  Harder to say and conceptualize in a sound bite.

Still, John Matarese could have gone for “over 50%” and been more accurate.

The first time I was published, I had submitted a clipped funny to PC Magazine (back in the 90s).  Someone was selling a computer monitor – except that instead of the RGB that it was intended to be, it came out as a KGB monitor.  I got $25 and a T-shirt for that one.

This week, I got the acclamation of my peers.

I read The Register, a British IT site.  I don’t read every article, and some I avoid.  There was an article about which devices are most easily broken, and my phone made the list (and did best in the embedded video).

Then there are the comments for the article.  In general, comments on articles at The Reg vary from informative to amusing to trolling.  There are some regulars, and some regular trolls.  There is a lot of understated humor, which I like.  And that’s where I came in.

twins

 

So I think I’m occasionally a funny guy.  This time, four anonymous people thought so, too.  That’s good enough for me.  Thanks, anonymous folks.

It wasn’t the fault of the assistant police chief.

He was talking.  Brian Mains was writing.

Air

“We have to air on the side of safety”.  No, you don’t.  Really.

Although that does bring up an interesting twist.  “To err is human, to air divine.”  That does put the police in the position of being gods, at least in the sight of one writer.  Problematic.

I am not going to touch the concept of the chief assuming that he knows what he wants to do – and being forced to do it, poor fellow!

We have to assume that we want to do this as safely as possible.

Rough job, being forced to assume that you want safety.  And I am not going to comment on that.

The source seems to be Fox News, who has now partially corrected their error.  The original (with my highlighting) goes

McNeal, who has 23 years of experience with Forest Service, the National Park Service and other agencies, said at the Aug. 23 meeting that investigators know the fire is human caused since there was know lightening in the area.

Bayou Buzz still has the original.  Fox left lightening unshortened.

know lightening